Month: November 2015

“Losing the Right Way” versus “Rightfully Losing”

I’m a simple man; I just like to win. I’m not a fan of losing, but I also recognize that sometimes things may not go my way. When I set out to win in a certain way, circumstances can lead to another way. I want to always win, but I accept that sometimes I will also lose. I allow for this losing, not for the sake of losing, but because this is part of the risk of trying to win. If I were to lose for the sake of losing, I would be victim to a Lost Purpose, and would have forgotten that my actual purpose is to win.

I am trying to win, and may sometimes lose, because I care about the outcome. If I were apathetic, winning or losing would not be meaningful to me. It’s only when I care enough about the outcome of events, either to me personally or as part of a group, that winning and losing represent desirable and undesirable outcomes. If I want to win, or if I want to not lose, then I must also care. Not caring is not a means for winning or losing; this mindset just abstains me from either circumstance. But since there are usually less ways to win and more ways to lose in a given situation, if I were to change from apathy to caring in the future, I would most probably recognize that I have been losing.

It’s even in losing that I can maintain my focus on winning. Understanding why I lost this time can help me to lose less in the future. What do I learn from my losses? How am I updating my beliefs? Was there some inherent belief I had that seems faulty under the new evidence from this loss? I may not win every time, but I must strive towards the win every time. With each loss I must continue through to a victory the next day. If I am practicing losing ways, let me believe that my ways are faulty. I should not feel obligated to hold on to beliefs if there are good reasons to discard them.

I can better analyze my own contributions to losing by recognizing my own thought processes leading to that loss. There may be certain external factors which were out of my control, but I must not be tempted to look for a scapegoat to cover responsibility which should be my own. Sure, some things can be out of my control, but there are a lot more things which can be under my control. It’s those things that I must examine and update to steer more of my future scenarios towards winning.

Losing can lead to future winning. Losing can also lead to continued losing. After losing, are my actions re-navigating me towards better chances at winning? Or am I just accepting losing in a way that I will continue to lose? How can I figure out what type of losing I am doing?

Am I losing the right way? Or am I rightfully losing? How can I tell the difference?