What Comes After And


Otsuka Ai – End and And

On this lonely roadway, I’m shut off from everything.

But it’s okay that I’m lonely on this roadway,

If I can reach you.

To God, a little bit of “Thank you”, and

Without hesitation, I must move forward to the end, and And.

I cannot ignore when you last said “Bye bye”, and

I won’t forget that was our beginning, end, and And.

Sorry, my love slowly grows.

My heartbeat rings out, trying to connect us.

If only it could grow faster, crying out to you.

But was it too late? Please open your eyes.

To mama and papa, “Thank you”, and

My tears will dry in the end, and And.

I will run away and say “Bye bye”, and

I don’t want this to end, and And.

On that lonely roadway, trying to reach you.

I will never forget;

That was our beginning, End and And.

With Clarity, Life, Never Death

This blog has been around for a year now, and I have tried using this forum as a way to help me improve my communication skills. Has it helped? Has it hurt? I have also tried blogging in order to help me achieve more clarity, to better understand myself, my thought processes. Has this worked? Has this failed?

Today, I will try to refocus, with clarity. Of some of this I have written. Of much more of this I still need to write. But today, I will jump to some of my conclusions. Bare with me, for I am still an amateur storyteller. I have not yet painted a fine portrait nor woven a great fabric. But I must tell this story, for myself and for those who read this now.

What is this blog mostly about? It is about first learning how to win on our own. It is about recognizing that we can do better. It is about living.

We are alive. Each of us is a single player in this game called life. We each choose how we want to live, but whatever we choose, we must live. It is our life to choose to live. We must live our own life. We can choose to live just for ourselves. That is fine, first and foremost we must take care of ourselves. We can choose to live for others. That is good, as long as we are still taking care of ourselves.

We might die. I say “might” because death is not a certainty. Death currently exists. Death is game over. Death is worse than bad. But death is not necessary. Never let anyone convince you otherwise; living does not require death. Any meaning that might be found in dying is a false promise. Whatever you think you would have learned upon dying, you will have lost immediately, because you would have been completely annihilated. You can live and wonder what might happen if you die. You cannot die and wonder if living was better.

It’s okay to live without death. I will borrow other’s words for now, as I am still crafting my art. But for now, this story must be told: a story about living, about seeing death for what it is, and about living without death.

  • “Once upon a time, infant deaths were part of the plan, and now they’re not.  Once upon a time, slavery was part of the plan, and now it’s not.  Once upon a time, dying at thirty was part of the plan, and now it’s not.  That’s a psychological shift, not just an increase in living standards.  Our era doesn’t value human life with perfect consistency – but the value of human life is higher than it once was…And I hope that the idea that people are disposable, and that their deaths are part of the plan, is something that fades out of the Future.”
  • “If other people want you to live, then it’s not just you doing something selfish and unforgivable, right? So I’m saying it to you. I want you to live.”

  • “Death is an extremely difficult technical problem, to be attacked with biotech and nanotech and other technological means. I do not tell a tale of the land called Future, nor state as a fact that humanity will someday be free of death – I have no magical ability to see through time. But death is a great evil, and I will oppose it whenever I can. If I could create a world where people lived forever, or at the very least a few billion years, I would do so. I don’t think humanity will always be stuck in the awkward stage we now occupy, when we are smart enough to create enormous problems for ourselves, but not quite smart enough to solve them. I think that humanity’s problems are solvable; difficult, but solvable.”
  • “Death hurt us, so we will unmake Death. Let that be the outlet for our anger, which is terrible and just.”

With clarity, I choose life; never death.



From the Start

I like to play games. I think there are a lot of things I learned and developed through my exposure to games. Games offer a variety of challenges which I can face. Some of these challenges I wouldn’t be able to tackle in “normal everyday living”, and the quantity and variety of challenges over the same time period would also be hard to match. Games offer an entertaining medium through which I can develop new skills, practice them, and learn where I thrive and where I need improvement.

I think I learned the most from single player games. It’s not that I don’t play or don’t recommend multiplayer games; I recognize that there are skills you can pick up from those too. But it’s in a single player game where you alone are faced with challenges. You can figure out pretty quickly what you can and cannot do. In multiplayer games, the struggle can be skipped, missed, or diverted to others. That too can be a useful skill, but that’s not what I think should be a primary mode for approaching challenges. At least for me, it’s through single player games that I’ve acquired a certain degree of self-reliance. There may be certain challenges which can only be faced with multiple players, but first I need to know what my own limitations are. If I don’t know what I could have done on my own, then I may become over-reliant on other players and miss out on the experience I could have gained on my own.

I just talked a lot about games. But this blog isn’t really going to be about games. Unless you consider life just a game. Then maybe we’re on the same level.

I plan on focusing on the idea that people should first learn to live and win more on their own. In a world where people are physically and digitally getting closer and more crowded, it will become even more important to emphasize this idea of first learning to win on your own.

If we each learn how to win on our own, then together we can win even more.