nigeru wa haji da ga yaku ni tatsu

Of Two Minds, but One Body

“If I were to grab her hand, would she hold it against me? Would I know where I stand?”

Once this trip ends, things will go back to normal. We'll go back to our peaceful, lonely lives. ~ If only we would never arrive there. ~

Once this trip ends, things will go back to normal. We’ll go back to our peaceful, lonely lives.
~ If only we would never arrive there. ~

Different people can have different perspectives, different mindsets. We are just one person. People hold us to a certain image, with certain habits and a certain history. Sometimes we just want to change it. Sometimes we just want to try something else. Sometimes we change our mind and form new beliefs. But we are held to the same image by others, and sometimes restricted even by our own selves. We’ve acted this way up until now; it’s common to have an urge to remain consistent. There could also be a fear of admitting that we may have been wrong.

What if we could live out two (or more) minds? What if we were not restricted to one image, contained in one body? I think we would be able to commit more of ourselves to those different minds. I think we would have a better chance to actually, really see those beliefs in action, and experience what goes on in that mindset of thinking. And then we would be able to better figure out which one we prefer. Which one results in a lifestyle we like? Which one results in ideas closer to what happens in reality?

We could try an image reset by moving, by abandoning the relations we have. Would we also have to wipe our own memories? Or at least repress the past image? In games, we can sort of accomplish this, by creating a new character, a new name. With a new class, different skills and specializations. And we can try role-playing to fit those different minds, those different playstyles. Can we reroll our own selves?

Refresh, Reset, Re:Zero

What would we do when given a chance to start over? Are we afraid of starting over? Do we not want to feel like a Beginner again?

The same job, but with a new manager, new expectations, new cubicle. It’s not really the same job anymore. The manager in mind whose volition was understood, is now a different entity with different desires.

To win, to forget, to remember, to try to win again, and to forget again.

The 12 year old me –  how did they feel? What was it like to want to never lose?

Could I return to that 12 year old mindset? If I could commit a self to that mindset, and compare with my current mindset, which would I choose to continue with?